Feelings don't matter!

I can't begin to tell you how many times I have been told that by well meaning Catholics.

Yet, nothing could be further from the truth. Indeed such people, though well meaning, are flirting with heresy. That heresy has a name: Angelism

Today, on the whole, we are facing two erroneous extremes. On the generally conservative side there is the tendency to downplay feelings and emotions with the saying that "they don't matter."

On the Left you tend to find the polar opposite. 

Just picture the screaming, out of control Left winger with purple hair. Be it abortion or LGBTQ+ etc, they are full of out of control, raw emotion which leads some of them to be demonically oppressed (maybe possessed) and barking mad (some literally barking).

Neither of these positions are correct nor healthy.

To find the Truth we need look no further than Jesus.

We read in St John's Gospel Ch 11 v 35 that "Jesus wept". Furthermore, we read in verse 38 that Jesus was "groaning in himself."

Jesus is crying real human tears. Jesus is groaning in real sorrow and pain at the death of His friend Lazarus and at the mourning of the people gathered there.

Yet Jesus knew what He was going to do for His friend. He knew that death was not to have the final word.

Why did He cry? Why did He show His feelings and emotions?

Firstly, to confirm His humanity. Jesus is True God but also True MAN. Secondly, I believe He showed His emotions to sanctify emotions. In Jesus every aspect of our lives can be sanctified.

The Saint is a Saint in everything. You cannot be a Saint in part.

God created man with emotions. The problem is that since the Fall human feelings and emotions have been tainted by Original Sin and Concupiscence.

So what is the answer? Grace.

With Grace we are able to grow in emotional maturity. Some people think that emotional maturity is a Catholic form of Stoicism. But Stoicism is not Christ like.

This is a particular problem among men. Often you find well meaning men who show little or no emotion. I have seen this sort of thing being praised even among Traditional Catholics.

But the reality is that such men may be just as emotionally immature as the screaming Liberal at the Pride parade. They may be emotionally stunted. Emotional development and affective maturity has been prevented somehow. The Church and the world needs men who have a healthy affective maturity. Compassion and empathy are not just for women.

The man who cries at a sad scene in a film or at the sight of starving children on TV may be affectively more mature than his stoical comrades. Such a man is able to feel sorrow and empathy at the sufferings of others. This is a good thing and something that every man should seek to develop and cultivate in their lives. 

If you are one of those men who weeps at suffering and you are chided for your tears just remember that Jesus wept.

The answer is very simple. A thoroughly healthy emotional maturity is one in which our emotions are submitted to God's Grace. It is not a question of basing our decisions on a whimsical passing feeling. Neither is it about "being in control" to the extent that we fall into a robotic way of behaving.

We are called to grow to our full stature in Grace. Compassion, empathy and the shedding of a tear over our broken world is good. Just remember that St Padre Pio did a lot of crying!

Feelings and emotions, in the right context and in the right way, DO matter. They are a part of being human and the glory of God is "man fully alive. (St Irenaeus)

Remember Jesus and Lazarus next time someone tries to tell you that feelings don't matter.

We are all invited to become more Christ like, even in our tears.

God bless